Time and time again, I turn to creating stupid, anonymous blogs so that I can bounce my unheard ideas off the gluttonous mass that is the internet. Once upon a time, there was a world out there, with thinking people and thoughtful cultures, and I dreamed of writing to reach the people in it. I once thought there were people out there like me, and, in writing, I could share the thrills and terrors of everyday life and find some succor in doing so.
I don’t believe that anymore.
But still, I need someone to talk to, to write to. So I start these blogs.
My first one was a rant on my narcissistic rich boss, who took out on me all the psycho-dramas perpetuated on him by his narcissistic, famous rich boss. That one gave me great relief. My job with him was well-paid, but I was basically a nanny to his dog. I spent every penny I earned trying to forget who I was and what I was doing, so the net effect on my life was like treading water in a septic tank.
The second rant blog was a way to deal with my incredibly insane second wife, who I married because I was bored and lonely and did not really conceive that a person could, in fact, regularly become psychotic and disattached from any link to reality. I wish I could remember the address of that blog because, after being divorced about a year, I would like to gleefully experience the relief of being rid of that bitch on tap and revisit it any time I had the slightest doubt that my life is SO much better without her.
I might have had another one, or two, but whatever the case is with those forgotten bits of cosmic stupidity, I am now starting another one.
This one? I guess it’s still a rant, but mostly about wonder. Like that reddit sub, ShowerThoughts. Like a Seinfeld show. Like the kind of conversation I could be having with a friend, if I had a friend that I could talk to without being aware I was wasting their time, or a family member who wasn’t an insecure poo-head. Alas, I am alone, and will therefore use this blog for my RANTS OF WONDER.
At least until I forget the site address.